Saskatchewan Al-Anon

Home FAQs Self Quiz Podcasts Meetings Literature Events Professionals Contacts Members Alateen Assembly Delegate Corner Coordinator Corner

Alateen

What is Alateen?

Alateen is a place where members come together to:

share experiences, strength, and hope with each other to find effective ways to cope with problems.
discuss difficulties and encourage one another
help each other understand the principles of the Al-Anon program through the use of the Twelve Steps and Alateen’s Twelve Traditions

Alateen is not a place:

For teenagers seeking help for drinking or drug problems or a therapy program
to complain about parents or anyone else.
A social hangout.

Did You Grow Up with a Problem Drinker? (Alateen)

Alateen is for young people whose lives have been affected by someone else’s drinking. Sometimes the active drinking has stopped, or the active drinker may not live with us anymore. Even though the alcohol may be gone, and the alcoholic gone or recovering in AA, we are still affected. Many of us have received help from Alateen or Al-Anon. The following questions are to help you decide whether or not Alateen is for you.

1. Do you believe no one could possibly understand how you feel? 2. Do you cover up your real feelings by pretending you don’t care? 3. Do you feel neglected, uncared for, or unloved? 4. Do you tell lies to cover up for someone else’s drinking or what’s happening in your home? 5. Do you stay out of the house as much as possible because you hate it there?

Clear Checkboxes
If you have answered "Yes" to one or more of these questions, Alateen may help you.

Questions Teens Ask

Who are alcoholics?

All kinds of people are alcoholics—people from all walks of life. Only a small percentage of alcoholics fit the stereotype of “derelict” or “bum” panhandling on the street. Most alcoholics appear to be functioning fairly well, but their drinking affects some part of their lives. Their family life, their social life, or their work may suffer. It might be all three. Alcoholics are people whose drinking causes a continuing and growing problem in any area of their lives. *
* From Alateen—Hope for Children of Alcoholics (B-3).

Why does my father drink too much?

Many people drink because they like the way alcohol makes them feel. But some drinkers have no control. If your father drinks so much that he gets into trouble, and his life has become unmanageable, he may be an alcoholic.

Why can't my mother stop drinking?

The compulsion to drink is too strong for her. She may not want to drink. However, her desire for alcohol is so overpowering that she cannot control it. It is a drive stronger than anything in her life, no matter how much it makes her and others suffer.

When do they realize they are alcoholics?

Perhaps they do realize there is something wrong with the way they drink, but are ashamed or not ready to admit it. Perhaps they are in denial. This means they cannot see that there is a problem. They may have tried to overcome their drinking and failed. Many alcoholics give up hope for sobriety because of this.

Is there a cure for this illness?

Although it is possible to stop drinking, there is no cure for alcoholism. Like diabetes, alcoholism can be arrested, but not cured. A single drink could start the drinking again.

Can I get an alcoholic to stop drinking?

In Alateen and Al‑Anon we learn that we did not cause the disease of alcoholism, we cannot control it, and we cannot cure it. We can do nothing directly to get an alcoholic to stop drinking. Persuasion, scolding, bitter silences, and tears may only put an alcoholic on the defensive. This could increase the alcoholic’s feelings of guilt, which can lead to more problems for us.

What if the alcoholic never stops drinking?

We can find hope in every situation, no matter how things look at the moment. By going to Alateen and Al‑Anon, we can help ourselves have a better life, whether the alcoholic stops drinking or not. We come to believe that the only life we are responsible for or have any control over is our own.

What to say when my friends see a drunk family member?

It is natural to feel angry, ashamed, or embarrassed when this happens. Talking to other Alateen members can help you decide what you might say to your other friends. As we attend meetings and understand more about alcoholism, we can learn to handle such situations.

What can I do if my friends don't want to visit me?

Don’t take their refusal personally. Our friends might not understand the disease of alcoholism. They may only feel uncomfortable in your home and not with you. Don’t withdraw from them or group activities. A positive attitude can be an example to others with similar problems.

How can I believe my parents love me when they act like they don't seem to care?

Love is distorted by the disease of alcoholism. Alcoholics often take out their hostilities on others in irrational ways, and may not be able to express love appropriately. Those of us who live in alcoholic situations may act irrationally as well.

What can I do if the situation becomes violent?

When someone is out of control, it makes sense to avoid contact with them, if possible. It doesn’t make any sense to fight or argue with someone who is drinking. It may be necessary to leave the room or home temporarily. Contact someone trustworthy. It may be a friend, relative, spiritual adviser, guidance counselor, teacher, or the police. Plan ahead and have the phone number of a safe place where help is available.

If a family members is an alcoholic, will I become one too?

There is not a "yes" or "no" answer to this question. Experts do not agree on exactly what makes a person an alcoholic. However, since alcoholism does tend to run in families, the children of alcoholics are at greater risk. Learning about alcohol, and its effects, can help us to make a decision about its place in our lives.

Why is my non-alcoholic parent so unreasonable?

Alcoholism affects everyone in the family. Non-alcoholic parents might feel lonely, frightened, confused, or angry. They might act nervous, irritable, and resentful. At times, we might feel they don’t deserve our respect because they appear to be unable to cope with what is happening in the home. Without help, living with a problem drinker is too much for most of us. In Alateen, we can learn to deal with our resentments toward both parents. Others in the family may be suffering just as deeply as we are. It helps to be patient and understanding. Many of us encourage our other family members to seek help in Al‑Anon.

Will getting help for myself do any good if the alcoholic refuses to get help?

Yes! When we become involved in Alateen and Al‑Anon, we find many others who share similar feelings. In Alateen, we learn to take care of ourselves, regardless of what anyone else does. With a change of attitude, members learn to appreciate themselves and others. Love and respect can become a part of life.

Where can an alcoholic find help?

There are many places where an alcoholic can find help. The most widely known is Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.). A.A. is available when the alcoholic is ready to ask for and accept help.

Is Alateen safe?

Each Saskatchewan Alateen Group has two Alateen Group Sponsors. These are adult members of Al‑Anon who have been through a certification process. They provide safety and guidance in the meeting and help the Alateens keep the meeting focused on the Al-Anon/Alateen program of recovery. An Alateen Group Sponsor doesn’t play the role of a teacher or assume a parental role. They honor Alateen members’ anonymity. For the safety of all involved, Alateen groups cannot meet without certified Alateen Group Sponsors present. When Alateen Group Sponsors are not available, Alateens are welcome in Al-Anon meetings.

Alateen Literature

What are the Steps and Alateen Traditions

The Twelve Steps and the Alateen Twelve Traditions are Alateen's three Legacies. The spiritual principles of the Alateen program derive from these Legacies.

What are the Twelve Steps?

Study of these Steps is essential to progress in the Al‑Anon program. The principles they embody are universal, applicable to everyone, whatever your personal creed. In Al‑Anon, we strive for an ever-deeper understanding of these Steps, and pray for the wisdom to apply them to our lives.

Twelve Steps

1.	We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
2.	Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3.	Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4.	Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5.	Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6.	Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7.	Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8.	Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9.	Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10.	Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11.	Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12.	Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

What are the Twelve Traditions - Alateen?

Our group experience suggests that the unity of the Alateen Groups depends upon our adherence to these Traditions.

Twelve Traditions - Alateen

1.	Our common welfare should come first; personal progress for the greatest number depends upon unity.
2.	For our group purpose there is but one authority—a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants—they do not govern.
3.	The only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend. The teenage relatives of alcoholics, when gathered together for mutual aid, may call themselves an Alateen Group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation.
4.	Each group should be autonomous, except in matters affecting other Alateen and Al-Anon Family Groups or AA as a whole.
5.	Each Alateen Group has but one purpose: to help other teenagers of alcoholics. We do this by practicing the Twelve Steps of AA ourselves and by encouraging and understanding the members of our immediate families.
6.	Alateens, being part of the Al‑Anon Family Groups, ought never endorse, finance or lend our name to any outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary spiritual aim. Although a separate entity, we should always co-operate with Alcoholics Anonymous.
7.	Every group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
8.	Alateen Twelfth Step work should remain forever non-professional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
9.	Our groups, as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
10.	The Alateen Groups have no opinion on outside issues; hence our name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
11.	Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, films, and TV. We need guard with special care the anonymity of all AA members.
12.	Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles above personalities.